Becoming You: the journey you take that's yours

Becoming yourself is one of the most challenging and rewarding journeys a person can take. For many early adults, the process of growing up and finding one's self feels like navigating a maze without a clear map. Philosophers and psychologists like Erich Fromm, Carl Rogers, and Rollo May offer valuable insights into this journey, helping to understand what it means to live authentically and embrace the responsibilities of adulting.

A winding forest path representing the journey of becoming oneself

Erich Fromm and the Art of Being

Erich Fromm, a social psychologist and humanistic philosopher, believed that authenticity comes from the courage to be oneself despite societal pressures. He argued that many people live in a state of "escape from freedom," where they conform to external expectations instead of embracing their true nature.

Fromm emphasized that becoming an adult means developing the ability to love, create, and take responsibility for one's life. This involves:

• Recognizing and overcoming fears of isolation and loneliness

• Accepting freedom as both a gift and a challenge

• Engaging in productive work and meaningful relationships

  
  

For example, a young adult who chooses a career path based on passion rather than parental expectations is practicing Fromm’s idea of authenticity. This choice requires courage and self-awareness, key elements in finding one's self.

Carl Rogers and the Journey Toward Self-Actualization

Carl Rogers, a pioneer of humanistic psychology, focused on the concept of the "self" and the importance of unconditional positive regard. He believed that people have an inherent tendency toward growth and authenticity when supported by an environment that accepts them without judgment.

Rogers introduced the idea of the "fully functioning person," someone who:

• Lives in harmony with their feelings and experiences

• Is open to new experiences without defensiveness

• Trusts their own judgment and values

  
  

For those growing up today, this means creating spaces where they can explore their identity without fear of rejection. For instance, a college student who experiments with different hobbies and social groups while feeling supported by friends and family is moving toward Rogers’ ideal of self-actualization.

Rollo May and the Courage to Be

Rollo May, an existential psychologist, highlighted the role of anxiety and choice in the process of becoming yourself. He argued that anxiety is not just a negative feeling but a signal that one is facing important decisions about identity and purpose.

May believed that adulting involves embracing this anxiety and using it as motivation to live authentically. He described the courage to be as:

• Accepting the uncertainty of life

• Making choices that reflect personal values rather than external demands

• Facing the possibility of failure without losing self-respect

  
  

An example of May’s philosophy is a young adult who decides to move to a new city alone to pursue a dream, despite fears of loneliness or failure. This act of courage is a step toward true authenticity and self-discovery.

A journal and pen on a wooden desk representing personal reflection and self-exploration

Practical Steps for Embracing the Journey

Drawing from these thinkers, here are practical ways early adults can navigate the path of becoming an adult and finding one's self:

• Practice self-reflection regularly through journaling or meditation to understand your true feelings and desires.

• Challenge societal expectations by asking whether your choices reflect your values or external pressures.

• Build supportive relationships that encourage openness and acceptance.

• Accept anxiety as a natural part of growth and use it to motivate meaningful decisions.

• Engage in creative or productive activities that express your individuality.

  
  

These steps help build a foundation for living authentically and confidently in adulthood.

Embracing Authenticity in Everyday Life

Authenticity is not a destination but a continuous process. It requires ongoing effort to align actions with inner values. For example, when faced with peer pressure, choosing to say no to something that doesn’t feel right is an act of authenticity. Similarly, setting boundaries in relationships reflects respect for oneself.

Growing up means learning to balance independence with connection, freedom with responsibility. The insights of Fromm, Rogers, and May remind us that this balance is delicate but achievable through courage, self-awareness, and support.

Living authentically also means accepting imperfections and failures as part of the journey. Each experience, whether success or setback, contributes to a deeper understanding of who you are.

Final Thoughts on Becoming Yourself

The journey of becoming yourself is deeply personal and often complex. Fromm’s emphasis on freedom and responsibility, Rogers’ focus on acceptance and growth, and May’s call for courage provide a rich framework for navigating this path. Early adults who embrace these ideas can move beyond confusion and fear toward a life marked by authenticity and meaningful connection.

Taking small, intentional steps toward self-understanding and honest living can transform the challenges of adulting into opportunities for growth. The journey is ongoing, but with patience and courage, it leads to a stronger, more genuine self.

Readers are encouraged to reflect on their own experiences of growing up and consider how these philosophies might support their path to finding one's self. The next step is to take action—whether through reflection, conversation, or new experiences—and continue moving forward with confidence.